Trials Make You Stronger

I started this blog a year and a half ago and then completely disappeared. I figured it was time to make a reappearance. You see this past year has been a rollercoaster for our little family. I usually never share anything personal about myself to anybody. I have rewritten this post a thousand times and then decided against posting because I am such a private person. Why have I decide to share then? Well you see I have come to accept my circumstances and have decided that I rather have people support me than not know what is going on and accidentally hurt my feelings.
So here it goes...

About a year ago Tysen and I decided it was time to bring a little Ficklin into our lives. It seemed like the perfect time! It seemed like the right step to take at this point in our marriage. Months and months went by and I still was not pregnant. That's okay though! We just kept trying because after all my twin sister got pregnant pretty quickly why wouldn't I be able to? Fast forward almost a year later and after a lot of tears, emotional rollercoasters, lab tests, and doctors appointments we got the news that getting pregnant was not going to be as easy or natural as we thought it would be.

I guess my point to this post is not just to let others know about the hard times we are facing but to let you all know that trials really do make you a stronger and better person. For the longest time I had a hard time sitting in church while others announced that they were pregnant. There were so many times when I felt like I was being judged for not having any kids yet. Totally not the case I just let myself feel that way. I also had a lot of days where I was angry at the world and at God for giving me this trial. One day while I was on a walk and a line from the Hymn "Be Still, My Soul" popped into my head. The line was, "Be still, my soul; your God will undertake To guide the future as he has the past." I have went through a couple trials in my life and after those trials when I have looked backed I have seen my Heavenly Father's hand throughout the entire process. At that moment I chose to love myself and just let things happen all while knowing that I was being guided to where I need to be. During this past year I have learnt to love myself and I have learnt who I really am. I know I still have a long road ahead before becoming a Mother is a reality but that's okay because I know there will be some great lessons I will learn along the way.

I really want to thank my supportive husband, he has been so beyond positive throughout this whole experience. I also want to thank those who have been aware of my situation and who have kept me positive along the way and have been such a support to me. You guys are what keep me going!